It's...So...Hot!!!

It's so hot!!!! It's so hot that

• I saw a chicken lay a fried egg!
• energy experts believe sweat is the new oil.
• It’s like living in the french fry bin at McDonalds.
• your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• Michael Vick is organizing penguin fights.
• it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
• you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
• no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
• the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
• The weather is 95 and hazy ..kind of like John McCain.
• It's so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
• It was so hot today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.
  
• It was so hot today I saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner.
• Potatoes cook underground, so just pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
• You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
• Angelina Jolie is adopting kids from Antartica"
• you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• hot water now comes out of both taps.
• you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
• The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
• you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
• you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
• you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
• you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
• Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"