Grandpa remembering the good old days....

http://www.kathyskids.org Ms. Kathy's Kids Blog: http://mskathyskids.blogspot.com/ HAHA! Good one, Jeanne! I' m passing on to others in this reply. --- On Wed, 1/13/10, Jeanne wrote: I hope this puts a smile on your face. It did when I saw it. Have a Blessed Day everyone! Grandad was reminiscing about the good old days.................... "When I was a lad, Momma would send me down to the corner store with a dollar bill, and I'd come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a dozen eggs. You can't do that. Too many security cameras all over the fool place now."

How do you make a book?

I just liked this letter and thought I would share. It's from a share enewsletter on downloading books for the visually impaired. One types in a question and it is broadcast via email to all subscribers. This one came today.
________________________________________________________________________

I have recorded files using studio recorder. I marked the chapters and so fourth using three levels. level 1 2 and 3.
How do I get them to import in to book wizard producer?
I'm Stumped.
Can someone tell me using words of less then 6 letters? I used all the 4-letter
words up already.
Thanks.

Sincerely Yours:
__________

PRAISE THE LORD!!! There was a little old lady who, every morning, steps onto her front porch, raises her arms to the sky and shouts, "PRAISE THE LORD!" One day an atheist moves into the house next door. He becomes irritated at the little old lady, so, every morning, he steps onto his front porch after her and yells, "THERE IS NO LORD!" Time passes with the two of them carrying on this way every day. Then one morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady steps onto her front porch and shouts, "PRAISE THE LORD! Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, oh Lord!" The next morning she steps onto her porch and there are two HUGE bags of groceries sitting there. "PRAISE THE LORD!" she cries out. "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES FOR ME!" The atheist neighbor jumps out of the hedges and shouts, "THERE IS NO LORD. I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES FOR YOU TO PROVE MY POINT!!" The little old lady throws her arms into the air and shouts, "PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE THE DEVIL HIMSELF PAY FOR THEM!!!" Excuse my 'Anglish' but this thick-headed guy don't get, does he? But I do! I thank God for every one of you! I know you've thanked Him today! Kathy If you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is the son of God and that God raised him from the dead, then you will be saved. --Romans 10:9-10 Visit:MS KATHY'S KIDS! Resources for Visual Impairments or CHILD REARING IN SCRIPTURE

Cat Yodeling

Such silliness...totally reeeee-dicu-loss. http://www.kathyskids.org Ms. Kathy's Kids Blog: http://mskathyskids.blogspot.com/ --- On Sat, 5/23/09, Adrianne wrote: From: Adrianne Subject: Cat Yodeling To: a Date: Saturday, May 23, 2009, 12:27 PM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxLG2wtE7TM&feature=player_embedded

15 of the Meanest CAPTCHAs ever

Most unfortunate mugshots with tatoos: CLICK HERE or copy and paste the URL below into your browser: http://www.oddee.com/item_96653.aspx Now scroll below to the capchas link my daughter sent. http://www.kathyskids.org Ms. Kathy's Kids Blog: http://mskathyskids.blogspot.com/ --- On Sun, 5/17/09, Adrianne (my daughter) wrote: Date: Sunday, May 17, 2009, 4:15 PM [Yeah, these ARE mean] http://www.oddee.com/item_96665.aspx

Duck Song

According to my nephew, all the elementary kids are singing the duck song and watching it on the Internet. So, Parents, here's your chance as I've provided this for you. You are not doing your duties as a parent if you do not familiarize yourself with the infamous Duck Song.Hee hee! {:^D}

UpDated Version of the Birds and the Bees

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got Male. http://www.kathyskids.org Ms. Kathy's Kids Blog: http://mskathyskids.blogspot.com/

Cheesy VHS covers

My daughter also sent this one to me. Where she finds these odd links, I haven't a clue. http://www.kathyskids.org Ms. Kathy's Kids Blog: http://mskathyskids.blogspot.com/ --- On Fri, 5/8/09, Adrianne wrote: Subject: Cheesy VHS covers To: "Carol"; "Ma " Date: Friday, May 8, 2009, 11:04 AM http://www.coverbrowser.com/covers/vhs-videos/16

SCAM

Look out! Tell all the guys in your address book! This was sent to me by someone who should know better.... http://www.kathyskids.org Ms. Kathy's Kids Blog: http://mskathyskids.blogspot.com/ --- On Sun, 5/3/09 Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpyT-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for aride to McDonalds. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen May 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th, 29th. Also June 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. p.s. Walmart has wallets on sale $2.99 each

Questions that Haunt Me

My friend Jennifer sent this to me.Fortunately, or unfortunately, we have like tastes in sick humor.

Questions That Haunt Me

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If you have sex with a prostitute against her will , is it considered rape or shoplifting?

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Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a " penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

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Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

Language

Mr. Language Person: Idiot's Guide to Englesh - Dave Barry - MiamiHerald.com
Another hobby: Words and language.

Check out this article by Dave Barry. I have his article emailed to me from the Miami Herald
CLICK HERE