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Showing posts with label hate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hate. Show all posts
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Ms. Kathy has been published
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Hate and Prejudice
Depending on he context, prejudice and hate are synonymous. When aimed at people, they are not only exhausting, but crazy making! If you will notice a person who absolutely hates other people, they make themselves crazy! When a person decides, "I just will not like THOSE people nor accept them here or there or believe this about them" that person has to expend a lot of energy maintaining those "standards."
I'm witnessing that now with a coworker who has never really expressed high opinions of people of African descent or children with multiple disabilities no matter how mild. It's been worse this year with her medical situation as it's manifest in utter delusional expressions and behavior. Some of it has been directed at me--actually quite a bit of it. Then her para suffers but most of all the children in the class.One child in particular has had the brunt of her wrath. The principal and most of the staff is Black so she's in obvious paradise. But God sees all and fortunately, so do other teachers and the principal.
So as I pray and ask others to do the same. I see her hate eating away at her. For example, although I'm either all over the city seeing consult kids or in my office with mounds of paper work, her delusion tells her that I am in her classroom at every turn trying to talk her students into turning their affections away from her and towards me. Her delusions tell her I sneak into her classroom and I take things. Her delusions tell her that it's okay to take children on a field trip and bring a braille writer along to make one of them stay on the bus and do homework.
I know the enemy uses that hate but I believe she is more vulnerable right now because of her chemo treatments--so I pray for her while I avoid saying anything more than "Good morning." Anything more will lead the devil to use her delusions to interpret what I say as a threat, a taunt or anything other than how it was meant. Not that I get a "Good morning" back. Most often it's silence and a turned up nose. Some people have told me that they would not even greet her at all, but I continue to do so because regardless of her behavior, I have to keep my standards and treat her as a child of God. I cannot stoop to returning the devil's tactics or allowing him to use me as he does her. Besides, I cannot believe all of that evil is her. Having been through chemo this past year for a different form of cancer, I know my treatments were not as intense and the drugs used were not the same. The literature says chemo can affect the memory, personality, mood and energy level. I would forget a word in the middle of a sentence and my energy level is still not up to par. I believe her treatments have some affect on her personality, making her more delusional and very insecure.
I was also very fortunate to have many prayer warriors in my corner from church and in the prison ministry--even my buds over in Ireland. Perhaps she does not have his kind of network and that is very sad. Perhaps she needs this kind of network. So I pray for her to receive a blessing and I ask that any of the few people who read this will do the same.
Hate is a powerful emotion but when directed at people, it is not of God. One can tell that by what it does to people. But love is a stronger emotion and it IS of God. The Bible says God IS love. So let's combat hate with love and not reciprocate acts of hate with more acts of hate. Continue to show love even in the most difficult of times.
Here's an ironic bit: There was a substitute in this lady's class who introduced himself to me. Seems we know some of the same people. If they had met each other--well, I can only imagine.He is an older Black man and told me he knows that because of what he went through as a youngster, that he is prejudice. He says he tried to raise his children not to be because he hope they would not go through the same things he did.
I let him know those things don't matter to me and that my husband claims Italian heritage. Immediately he asked me if my husband had a certain type of personality based on the stereotypes he felt he knew Italian-Americans are to have. I guess I was playing with him a little bit because after I let him go on I said, "No, he's not like that and his whole family are very sweet subdued people." The I said, "Do you think it's because his dad's side is Irish?" Then he had a lot of Irish stereotypes to give me, that probably ran in my husband's blood to counteract he Italian blood. That's when I dropped the bomb that my husband was adopted.
I just thank God for more enlightened parents who raised me not to let such things as color, neighborhood, occupation, make a difference in whom I accept as a friend. If not, I would not have made all the friends God placed in my path for me to meet and love. I would not have heard His voice when he said, "This man is to be your husband" because I would have not been able to see past the color of his face and into his Christian heart.
Stay blessed. Stay in prayer.
I'm witnessing that now with a coworker who has never really expressed high opinions of people of African descent or children with multiple disabilities no matter how mild. It's been worse this year with her medical situation as it's manifest in utter delusional expressions and behavior. Some of it has been directed at me--actually quite a bit of it. Then her para suffers but most of all the children in the class.One child in particular has had the brunt of her wrath. The principal and most of the staff is Black so she's in obvious paradise. But God sees all and fortunately, so do other teachers and the principal.
So as I pray and ask others to do the same. I see her hate eating away at her. For example, although I'm either all over the city seeing consult kids or in my office with mounds of paper work, her delusion tells her that I am in her classroom at every turn trying to talk her students into turning their affections away from her and towards me. Her delusions tell her I sneak into her classroom and I take things. Her delusions tell her that it's okay to take children on a field trip and bring a braille writer along to make one of them stay on the bus and do homework.
I know the enemy uses that hate but I believe she is more vulnerable right now because of her chemo treatments--so I pray for her while I avoid saying anything more than "Good morning." Anything more will lead the devil to use her delusions to interpret what I say as a threat, a taunt or anything other than how it was meant. Not that I get a "Good morning" back. Most often it's silence and a turned up nose. Some people have told me that they would not even greet her at all, but I continue to do so because regardless of her behavior, I have to keep my standards and treat her as a child of God. I cannot stoop to returning the devil's tactics or allowing him to use me as he does her. Besides, I cannot believe all of that evil is her. Having been through chemo this past year for a different form of cancer, I know my treatments were not as intense and the drugs used were not the same. The literature says chemo can affect the memory, personality, mood and energy level. I would forget a word in the middle of a sentence and my energy level is still not up to par. I believe her treatments have some affect on her personality, making her more delusional and very insecure.
I was also very fortunate to have many prayer warriors in my corner from church and in the prison ministry--even my buds over in Ireland. Perhaps she does not have his kind of network and that is very sad. Perhaps she needs this kind of network. So I pray for her to receive a blessing and I ask that any of the few people who read this will do the same.
Hate is a powerful emotion but when directed at people, it is not of God. One can tell that by what it does to people. But love is a stronger emotion and it IS of God. The Bible says God IS love. So let's combat hate with love and not reciprocate acts of hate with more acts of hate. Continue to show love even in the most difficult of times.
Here's an ironic bit: There was a substitute in this lady's class who introduced himself to me. Seems we know some of the same people. If they had met each other--well, I can only imagine.He is an older Black man and told me he knows that because of what he went through as a youngster, that he is prejudice. He says he tried to raise his children not to be because he hope they would not go through the same things he did.
I let him know those things don't matter to me and that my husband claims Italian heritage. Immediately he asked me if my husband had a certain type of personality based on the stereotypes he felt he knew Italian-Americans are to have. I guess I was playing with him a little bit because after I let him go on I said, "No, he's not like that and his whole family are very sweet subdued people." The I said, "Do you think it's because his dad's side is Irish?" Then he had a lot of Irish stereotypes to give me, that probably ran in my husband's blood to counteract he Italian blood. That's when I dropped the bomb that my husband was adopted.
I just thank God for more enlightened parents who raised me not to let such things as color, neighborhood, occupation, make a difference in whom I accept as a friend. If not, I would not have made all the friends God placed in my path for me to meet and love. I would not have heard His voice when he said, "This man is to be your husband" because I would have not been able to see past the color of his face and into his Christian heart.
Stay blessed. Stay in prayer.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Haters
This past Fall, I was asked by my supervisor to take a self-contained class of elementary Braille readers. The teacher who usually had them would be out for treatments for lung cancer. I let her know that I would have to have treatments of my own for a form of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. My treatments would require that I be able to leave once per month for three days.
I knew the teacher whose place I would take. I warned by super that she may not like the fact that it would be me taking her place. I didn't want to say that she had racial issues. My supervisor assured me that she, the teacher, would be okay with it and that she was more interested in having someone who knew braille and knew how to work with elementary children with visual impairments. I prayed about it, adding that to my prayer list. This teacher had been the kind who would sit in my art class with her students and smile and have a friendly conversation with me and then go directly to the principal's office to complain about something she didn't like in my class.
Later, I had one of her students for summer school. I was familiar with him from my preschool days. The child was definitely ADHD and was on meds for it. Going strictly by the Sally Mangold books and completing endless worksheets was boring him out of his gourd. I couldn't blame him. It was boring for me, too. But then this teacher was notorious for only using this particular book so that any child with any other disability or learning difference--well, they would have problems and not be able to succeed. She was known for being perpetually angry with these children.
Anyway, I took the stories and the signs he was supposed to learn and modified them into funny stories to hold his attention. We'd add more signs and have him read for shorter periods. He was very intelligent and was only completing kindergarten to move into the first grade. By the end of the summer, he'd completed more signs that he was supposed to even though he was not present everyday and missed the last two weeks. Whenever there were visitors on campus, the lead teacher would bring them to observe my class because she was very impressed with the children's progress.
After regular school started the summer school program director came by my school to tell me that she had complained be cause I didn't ever so strictly follow that Mangold text. By the way, it was so old that I saw in the front of the book, the name of a student we had fifteen years earlier back at the school for the blind. I forgave her for that but it seemed in telling her I forgave her she became even more angry. She returned a letter I wrote to her saying that. Anyway, that was YEARS ago and you'd think that would be over with. I did.
So this fall I taught the kids with my own style. I cannot bear to have them sit and braille all day, Blind children have to go, do and touch just like sighted children. I don't believe Sally Mangold even intended her books to be used in such a way. The para continued to teach the old Mangold while I would do language lessons that enhanced their reading, language and spelling. Sometimes they would volunteer to write poems and stories for me.
The principal enjoyed my class and came to observe about five times during the semester. I'd photographed all our activities and made audio and video recordings. They were compiled and made into a video for Christmas presents for the parents and our principal.
Well, the word got back to this "teacher" that I was doing a spectacular job with the kids and just having TOO much fun. This lady tells her doctor that she is ready to go back to work. When she gets back, she immediately starts talking with parents about how I really didn't teach the children anything. It was all in their imaginations. Of course they knew better, because most of them had been in the class and they had that really nice video Christmas present!
One of my coworkers said, "Wow! Such insecurity!" While I was downloading my teaching certificate on line she decided to look up the other teacher's certificate and said, "Well, here's why we're so insecure about you. You're a Black woman with more education and more certifications than she has. How dare you!"
Even though I am back to being itinerant and hardly at that school for a full day, I'm supposed to be, in her world, talking to the children to try to take their affections from her. I think her chemo treatments may make her a little delusional and that she returned to work too soon. So I forgive her again and seventy-times seven times I will because I have to. That doesn't mean that I don't watch my back.
That is why the email below is appropriate. One of my Kairos brothers sent it to me. I'm not sure that these are actually words from Maya Angelou, but they fit. Here it is:
-----------------------------------------------
This is cool! Sounds just like a coworker of mine. She's so much of a hater she's become delusional--big time! Join me in prayer for her and others like this.
I knew the teacher whose place I would take. I warned by super that she may not like the fact that it would be me taking her place. I didn't want to say that she had racial issues. My supervisor assured me that she, the teacher, would be okay with it and that she was more interested in having someone who knew braille and knew how to work with elementary children with visual impairments. I prayed about it, adding that to my prayer list. This teacher had been the kind who would sit in my art class with her students and smile and have a friendly conversation with me and then go directly to the principal's office to complain about something she didn't like in my class.
Later, I had one of her students for summer school. I was familiar with him from my preschool days. The child was definitely ADHD and was on meds for it. Going strictly by the Sally Mangold books and completing endless worksheets was boring him out of his gourd. I couldn't blame him. It was boring for me, too. But then this teacher was notorious for only using this particular book so that any child with any other disability or learning difference--well, they would have problems and not be able to succeed. She was known for being perpetually angry with these children.
Anyway, I took the stories and the signs he was supposed to learn and modified them into funny stories to hold his attention. We'd add more signs and have him read for shorter periods. He was very intelligent and was only completing kindergarten to move into the first grade. By the end of the summer, he'd completed more signs that he was supposed to even though he was not present everyday and missed the last two weeks. Whenever there were visitors on campus, the lead teacher would bring them to observe my class because she was very impressed with the children's progress.
After regular school started the summer school program director came by my school to tell me that she had complained be cause I didn't ever so strictly follow that Mangold text. By the way, it was so old that I saw in the front of the book, the name of a student we had fifteen years earlier back at the school for the blind. I forgave her for that but it seemed in telling her I forgave her she became even more angry. She returned a letter I wrote to her saying that. Anyway, that was YEARS ago and you'd think that would be over with. I did.
So this fall I taught the kids with my own style. I cannot bear to have them sit and braille all day, Blind children have to go, do and touch just like sighted children. I don't believe Sally Mangold even intended her books to be used in such a way. The para continued to teach the old Mangold while I would do language lessons that enhanced their reading, language and spelling. Sometimes they would volunteer to write poems and stories for me.
The principal enjoyed my class and came to observe about five times during the semester. I'd photographed all our activities and made audio and video recordings. They were compiled and made into a video for Christmas presents for the parents and our principal.
Well, the word got back to this "teacher" that I was doing a spectacular job with the kids and just having TOO much fun. This lady tells her doctor that she is ready to go back to work. When she gets back, she immediately starts talking with parents about how I really didn't teach the children anything. It was all in their imaginations. Of course they knew better, because most of them had been in the class and they had that really nice video Christmas present!
One of my coworkers said, "Wow! Such insecurity!" While I was downloading my teaching certificate on line she decided to look up the other teacher's certificate and said, "Well, here's why we're so insecure about you. You're a Black woman with more education and more certifications than she has. How dare you!"
Even though I am back to being itinerant and hardly at that school for a full day, I'm supposed to be, in her world, talking to the children to try to take their affections from her. I think her chemo treatments may make her a little delusional and that she returned to work too soon. So I forgive her again and seventy-times seven times I will because I have to. That doesn't mean that I don't watch my back.
That is why the email below is appropriate. One of my Kairos brothers sent it to me. I'm not sure that these are actually words from Maya Angelou, but they fit. Here it is:
-----------------------------------------------
This is cool! Sounds just like a coworker of mine. She's so much of a hater she's become delusional--big time! Join me in prayer for her and others like this.
Haters/ By Maya Angelou
A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their
time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever
good enough!
When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...
That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your
blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing
you blessed...
It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be
like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?
You never know what people have gone through to get what they
have...
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they
don't know my story...
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you
can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!
We've all got some haters among us!
Some people envy you because you can:
a) Have a relationship with God
b) Light up a room when you walk in
c) Start your own business
d) Tell a man/woman to hit the curb
(if he/she isn't about the right thing)
e) Raise your children without both parents being
in the home
Haters can't stand to see you happy.
Haters will never want to see you succeed.
Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be
on our side.
How do you handle your undercover haters?
You can handle these haters by:
1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are
*(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not
mean having a job. You can have a job and still be
unfulfilled.
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering what you have is by divine
prerogative and not human manipulation.
Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when its your
time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say, 'I've lived my
life and fulfilled my dreams, Now I'm ready to go HOME!
When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at
me...Look at who is in charge of me...'
Pass this to all of your family & friends who you know are
not hating on you including the person who sent it to you.
If you don't get it back, maybe you called somebody out!
Don't worry about it, it's not your problem, it's theirs.
Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as
yours! Watch out for Haters...BUT most of all don't become
a HATER!
'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man
should have to seek Him first to find her.'
Maya Angelou
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